


The Crazy Ones

by MyDoki



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Family, Unconventional Families
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyDoki/pseuds/MyDoki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanji’s Titans have just been killed. She’s not taking the news very well, and has been acting weirder than usual. Will Levi’s surprise help her get through this painful time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Crazy Ones

It had been night for several hours now. The sky was an ocean of black and blue. Bright stars twinkled above head quarters, but no one was paying attention to them. 

The court yard was bathed in the reds and yellows of torch lights held by curious soldiers. The commotion lured them from their blankets out into the cool night. Instead of being useless, they lit the area for the brave souls addressing the problem. 

Manic wails ripped through the air. Six solders, lead by Moblit, went into the tent. 

The sides of the tent bulged, a scuffle was going on inside. Groans of pain, commanding shouts and screaming cries echoed throughout the little courtyard. Everyone was up by now, watching in grotesque horror the taming of what had to be an animal. They had never heard those sounds come from a human before.

One man slid from the tent, knocked out cold. He was removed from the tarp entrance and taken to the medic.

It took four large, solid men to remove Hanji Zoe from the tent that housed her beloved Titans. Two held her by the arms, the other by the legs. They weren’t having an easy time about it. Her squirming made it difficult, and two bloody lips had already been doled out.

“SOOOOONNNNNYYY!! BEEAAAAANN!!!” she screamed, over and over again in a mantra of anguish. She was red in the face with snot and tears pouring from her eyes and nose. She really did look crazy then. 

The crowd of cadets and soldiers parted. Light torches gave way to make a single dark pathway. Shined black shoes crunched the cobble beneath them. Corporal Levi didn’t stop to assess the situation. 

He went over, took her up from her hanging hold between the four men, and threw her over his broad shoulder. She screamed and pounded on his back, but The Corporal remained as stoic and calm as ever. 

He turned to their startled audience. “Tomorrow you will all clean for breaking curfew.” he stated, before disappearing back into the night. The crowd erupted into collective groans and feet began to shuffle back in to the barracks. 

No one saw Hanji or Levi for the rest of the night. 

~

Two days had passed. They hadn’t stopped cleaning for two whole days except to eat, bathe and sleep. Oh, and don’t forget shit. These were the direct orders of their short, brooding Corporal .

The murderer was still missing. There were no visible leads to who killed Hanji’s Titans. The questionings were over, no one had been apprehended.

The barracks slowly returned to solid ground from the eggshells it had been walking on. They still tried to avoid Hanji, though. Her screws were looser than usual. She was a mumbling mess, talking to her self and asking people what they remembered most about her precious ‘Bean and Sonny’. 

Eren and a few of the other 104 were ordered to clean the courtyard that housed Hanji’s experiments. Not all Titan’s evaporated after death. Chunks of meat and blood were to be cleared. It was to be spotless and clean enough for them to take their dinner on. It looked like whoever got to them played with them. Pulling them apart as fast as they could regenerate while everyone was away on a mission. Eren knew, if they didn’t do a good enough job, Corporal Levi would have them eating off their half-assed floor. 

Eren went to dunk his mop again, but another one beat him to it. “Too slow, Eren. You should work on that.” Jean taunted, whipping his mop out and smacking it to the stone. 

“Screw you, Jean.” Eren mumbled darkly. That bastard had been taking digs at him all day. As if cleaning Titan guts under a hot sun wasn’t bad enough.

No one was talking much beside the occasional hushed jab. The courtyard held an uncomfortable silence. Their resident scientist hadn’t moved from her position on top the deconstructed tarp. She held it to her, hiccuping and sobbing. They were quiet noises, unlike the night of the discovery. She was down to a soft boil of despair that was considerably less than her manic wails. 

That didn’t mean she was approachable. She held the course material of the tent to her chest, rocking back and forth, petting it like the head of a child. 

They tried their best to clean around her. They had completely disassembled both tents when she spotted them. She ran for Sonny’s old tent and hadn’t moved since. It had been three hours. 

Bean’s tent had been put away since then. She had watched them with tortured eyes, shaking her head back and forth. “It’s ok Bean…It’s ok…” she repeated. It put an unsettled feeling in the pits of their stomach. Why did she care so much about some ugly Titans? Hell, they tried to kill her before! She really was humanities weirdest…

There was less and less crud to clean up. Soon, they’d have to move her or risk the wrath of their short, unpleasant Corporal . Surely he’d be sympathetic to their Hanji problem. Right?

Erin, Armin, Jean, and Connie stood under the overhang of the building that led out to their almost clean courtyard. They had gathered all their cleaning supplies and went to hide under the shade while they decided what to do. Chairs were set out from earlier that week, older recruits sometimes came out here to drink. 

They didn’t dare take a seat, in fear of someone spotting them and thinking they weren’t working. 

Jean pushed Eren towards the distraught women, making him stumble. “Go on, Eren, she likes your freaky Titan-ass the most.”

Eren whipped around and punched Jean in his arm. “Screw you, Jean. Aren’t you supposed to be our fearless leader? You do it.”

Connie and Armin ignored their bickering. Usually, it would go without saying, Amrin would go to Hanji. He was her scientific underling. But he wouldn’t budge. 

“Why don’t you go, Armin? You’re closest to her.” Connie said, never taking his eyes off the brown haired woman. 

Armin looked away. “I can’t…” 

Jean butted in, taking a seat in one of the little wooden chairs. “Can’t, or won’t, Armin? Can’t stand to see your lady love act like a complete psycho?” he snickered. 

“Shut up, Jean! You don’t know what the hell you’re saying!” Armin’s fists were clenched around the broom handle, his face was completely red. 

Connie turned in closer to their little group. “Come on, Jean…give them a break why don’t you.” he sighed. Jean liked to tease and harass to the point of making others violent. He wasn’t really a bad guy. Just couldn’t help himself. But they were all piss tired and no one wanted to deal with his bull crap.

Eren leaned his broom against one of the beams holding up the overhang. “She’s always been a nut job,” he rubbed his mouth where she had extracted a tooth last week. “..did you see them drag her out of the tent the other night?” he said in a low tone.

Connie nodded, crouching down and resting his arms on his legs. “I heard she’s always been this way.”

Jean leaned in. “I heard she got hit in the back of the head during a mission and scrambled her brains.”

“I heard she uses nosey-ass brats for Titan experimentation.” A deep voice said from behind them. The young men sucked in matching breaths of air, their eyes widened and the hairs on the back of their necks stood straight up. They whipped their heads around to see Levi, sitting in one of the wooden chairs several feet behind their group. 

Jean scrambled out of his seat, the chair clattering to the ground. His comrades watched as he awkwardly tried to pick it back up. They stood there, stiff as a pile of planks. Their breath hitched and they waited for their punishment. He had ordered them to clean the courtyard five hours ago. The job should have been long since done. Not to mention they were caught gossiping about one of their squad leaders..

None of them had seen the Corporal come out from the darkened doorway behind them. He had slipped in one of the little chairs, stealthy like a cat. It freaked the younger soldiers out, how quiet the man could be. Bubbling violence was always just underneath his cool facade. He’d go from pleasantly sipping tea one minute to beating someone’s ass for insubordination. He ran a tight, clean barracks. 

Men like him were the wort type of men. Cadets learned that the hard way. Heichou believed the best way to teach was through pain. Some wondered if the man wasn’t a Titan himself with his disregard for human emotion.

The Corporal leaned back, casual as ever, as if they weren’t talking smack about one of their commanding officers. His arms crossed casually over his chest and his legs kicked out in front of him. He was wearing his civilian clothes: one cravat, a pair of black slacks, shined shoes, and a crisp button down shirt. 

His hooded gaze fixed briefly on Jean, passing over to the other boys before settling on Eren. A bead of sweat formed at the top of Jaeger’s brow. Though Levi’s face held his usual impassive boredom, Heichou’s ice blue eyes told of his unforgiving nature. Eren was rather sure he didn’t want to be on the recieving side of his boot again. 

“How long has she been there, Jaeger?” he asked.

Eren stumbled for words while the others were thanking their lucky stars he didn’t adress them. “Ah-um, bordering on four hours, Sir.” he stuttered. 

“Ah.” he said. 

The boys shuffled nervously, turning their gaze on Hanji. Staring at Hanji is better than locking gazes with Heichou. 

“Pfff-!” Jean had to hold back a laugh. The scientist was lying on the tarp, rolling around to cover herself in the thick material. She looked like a looney. Eren found himself biting his cheek too. 

Heichou scoffed. The strain in the boys’ shoulders lessoned. “Fucking four-eyes. She looks like a crazy goddamn bird.” he gruffed, leaning forward. “Has she been saying anything during this…episode?”

The tension had been noticeably decreased with the Corporal ’s gutter-mouth vocabulary. But they knew not to get too comfortable. He wasn’t trying to set them at ease. He always talked like that. But at least he was focused on Hanji instead of breaking their lazy asses over his foot. 

“Well,” Armin started, taking a glance over his shoulder at Levi. “She been mumbling ‘Sonny and Bean’ this entire time. 

The Corporal didn’t say anything.

“Those are some weird-o names for a Titan.” Jean said, picking his ear with his pinky finger. 

Eren spoke up, too, forgetting the unbearably thick tension from only moments ago. “I heard these weren’t her first Titan experiments. I wonder what she named all the others.”

The boys all grunted in agreement. 

“Probably something equally weird, like Dandelion or Fankerf-” Jean was sharply cut off.

 

“No.” The Corporal said, standing from his chair to walk in the middle of their group. Hanji had ceased her squirming and now just lied in the tarp, her arms and legs spread like a starfish. “They are always named Sonny and Bean.” He stated tonelessly. 

Their curiosity peaked. Surprisingly, it was Armin who asked the question at all of their lips. 

 

“B-but why?” the blond asked. 

Their Corporal didn’t reply right away. He dug in his right pocket and pulled out an old, round pocket watch. It was gold and fit in the palm of his hand. There were words on the front, but no time to catch what they said. Heichou flipped the lid open, watching the ticking hands until he was satisfied. He snapped it back shut and shoved it back into his pocket. 

“Those are the nicknames of Benjamin and Orson Zoe. Two of Hanji’s children. They died.” 

Electricity struck through the men. Hanji? A mother? Children? They DIED? A woman like her had children? 

Eren turned a cautious eye towards the Corporal. “But why would she name the Titan’s after her…kids?” it was hard to say. It was really hard to say.

Heichou didn’t take his eyes off the woman. “Motivation.”

All of a sudden, their unkind remarks in the mess hall seemed childish and embarrassing and Wrong. They said terrible things…

No man but a titan would want her inside their mouth-

I wouldn’t trust a woman such as that around my-

They say she was very violent when she entered, then fell in love with the Titans-

A woman like that is meant for the military. It’s the only place for crazy people to function-

A woman like that-

A woman like that-

A Woman Like That-

All soldiers that have been in the recon corp had one thing in common. They knew death, and how it twisted, turned and distorted the soul. To lose a love one was the most devastating of all fears. To be alone, without anyone. To lose a mother, to lose a father, to lose a grandparent, to lose a sibling…none of them had to go through the experience of losing a child. They were all too young. Was it any difference? They highly expected it was. 

They didn’t notice The Corporal pull out his watch again until he snapped it shut, breaking the spell. “Ah, right on time as always.” he drawled. 

On the other side of the scrubbed courtyard, the wooden gate along the separation fence opened. A young man stepped out. He wore a military jacket and had a bag slung over his shoulder. His facial features were fuzzy because of the distance. They knew that they’d never seen him before. 

But the Corporal seemed to know exactly who had entered the barracks.

The man walked towards the tarp, bending down and reaching out a hand towards the fallen woman. As soon as his fingers patted her tear stained cheeks, she was on top of him, tackling him to the ground. Hanji pulled up the mysterious figure, pulling him to her in bone crushing hug, planting kisses across his face, and retackling him onto the ground. 

Could that man be her husband? The thought crossed their minds. They certainly had never seen her act like that before. 

The man lifted them to their feet, Hanji still clinging, burying her face into his chest. He was a tall fellow. He coaxed her to walk beside him, but Hanji could not just walk. She grabbed onto his arm and tugged him towards the group waiting under the shade of the veranda. She was so exited she skipped, turning her head back every once and a while to make sure he was still there. 

The man…kid, must have been around their age, about as tall as Jean, inches taller than the woman dragging him forward. It wasn’t his height that startled them, though. The boy had dark, brown hair, pulled up in a ponytail. Old, worn goggles dangled around his neck. And his face? Looked like Hanji’s but also distinctly not. 

When they got closer, Hanji started screaming. “Levi!!! Levi loook! Loooooookkk itttt!!!!” The boys eyes widened in recognition, a smile splitting his face, very much the same as Hanji’s but very much not. 

The boy sped forward, out of Hanji’s grip. She slowed, clasping her hands in front of her, her smile never leaving her face. 

“Heichou!!! Heichouu!!!!!” The boy screamed, running strait for them. A look of horror passed the groups face. Eren looked at the Corporal , no discernible change of emotion could be seen, then back at the boy running towards them. Was this kid crazy? Who did he think he was talking to? 

Eren and Jean took a noticeable step away from the Corporal, fear of what he would do to the disrespectful boy. Even if Hanji knew him, didn’t mean Levi wouldn’t dull out a serving of respect. 

“Heeiiiicchhoouuuu!!!” the boy didn’t slow down his speed. He attacked the Corporal. And the Corporal did…nothing. 

The mysterious young man threw his arms around the Corporal’s thick shoulders. “Heichoouu!!” Levi wound his arms around the boy, squeezing him back. 

Levi pulled back, holding the boy out and steady by his arms, scanning him with his eyes. “You’re right on time.” he said a small uplift at the side of his mouth. 

The boy’s ear splitting grin didn’t falter, he nodded his head vigorously. “I’ve been riding non stop, Heichou.” he laughed. “My ass needs some ice.” 

Levi chuckled. “There is no ice at this base.” His blue eyes flicked towards the boy’s goggles. Levi hooked a finger on the bridge, stretching the elastic down to inspect them. “ Ch. You cracked another pair? Is that why you aren’t wearing them?”

He waved Levi’s hand away. “The cracks make my eyes cross.” he laughed.

“That’s better than walking into a fucking ditch, Lavine.” 

Lavine’s dark blue eyes widened. “Shoosh! Shoosh shoosh shoosh shoosh!” he put his hands over the Corporal ’s mouth. Lavine leaned in, “Don’t let her know-”

The Corporal swatted away his hands, his nose scrunched in disgust. “You haven’t washed your hands since getting off that fucking horse.”

“No.” Lavine replied.

“And you put them on my fucking face?! You disgusting little pig shit!” He grabbed the boy by his ear and yanked. 

“Oow Heichou, Owwww” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut. 

The others were speechless. This kid had so brazenly come up and invaded the Corporal ’s personal space. A devastating offense. And had the gull to place his filthy, travel dirty hands on his face…And wasn’t dead. Connie’s mouth began to open, his pointer finger rising in question. Jean clapped Connie’s mouth shut with the palm of his hand and Armin pushed his raised finger back down to his side. 

Hanji approached, hugging Lavine and brushing away the Lance Corporal’s ear grip of death. “Leviiii, leave my sweet precious angel alone.” she nuzzled his arm. Lavine cuddled back and smugly smiled down at the irritated Corporal . 

“Your Son broke his goggles again and most certainly has been falling into ditches.” he said flatly. 

Lavine gave him a look of disbelief. “You bastard-”

Hanji cut off his threat, grabbing his face between her hands, mushing his cheeks together. “Did you teach those ditches a lesson?” she asked, deadly serious. “We can teach them all lessons together.” Hanji was scary when she became overprotective. 

He jerked his head away, rubbing his abused face. “I’ve been on leave for about a week or so, so I was around the house more. Oliver threw a rock at my face.”

Levi pulled out his pocket watch, flicking it open. “You probably deserved it.” he snapped it back shut. “It’s time for lunch. Let’s go.” Lance Corporal Levi grabbed one of Lavine’s arms, a giddy Hanji grabbed the other. The crisp symbol of the horse was between them on the strange soldier’s back. 

They began to walk away from the veranda, heading for the other side of the building towards the mess hall, leaving the forgotten soldiers behind. 

“Ah Heichou, that’s the worst present I ever got you.”

They could see Hanji’s ponytail bob in agreement. “It’s made him even more neurotic than usual.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with being on time.” Levi replied. “We’ve prepared a temporary room for you to keep your crap.”

“Awww, can’t I just stay with you guys tonight?”

“YES!” Hanji exclaimed.

“No. The bed’s much too small-”

The three rounded the corner, cutting the confused solders out of their conversation. Their jaws all hung from their upper lips.

“What the fuck just happened, Eren?”

“I have no fucking idea, Jean. What do you think Armin.”

“I’m sincerely at a loss for words.” replied Armin.

“Are you guys retarded, that must have been their-”

“Shut up Connie.” the three snapped. They grabbed their cleaning supplies and went back to work. No matter what strange kind of mood the Corporal was in, they didn’t want to run the risk of not getting their job done.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: About the fic Headcannon
> 
> ahaha it’s done! this was a combination of prompts sent in by a bunch of lovely people~ so thank you~! <3
> 
> If you didn’t catch it, Lavine is Hanji and Levi’s son. I’d like to think he graduated maybe a year or something before Eren’s class. They collectively decided for him to not be in survey corp. He’s the oldest and still takes care of the rest of the kids when their parents are away ;) He can’t be away from the house too long XD 
> 
> They keep to themselves about their relationship unless people ask. they wouldn’t be the type of people to rub pictures of their snotty kids in peoples faces…well, maybe ahahaha. Maybe Petra just never asked? ;)
> 
> I don’t know, but I think it would be kind of mysterious if Hanji named all her Titans after their two deceased sons (Twins maybe?) to motivate her to get rid of all the titans faster. She’s still a little crazy though :)
> 
> my tumblr: http://mydoki.tumblr.com


End file.
